moonemojii:

so i bought this chocolate lollipop
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and this is what i fucking got
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cannolis:

…

foodtrucker:

please don’t flirt with people i secretly like it’s rude and disrespectful

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theoitnblife:

OITNB posts here
rftminges:

this is the weirdest job app i’ve ever filled out

hotel-mario:

The year is 2540, a student in history class notices something off about his textbook. “How come these textbooks skip the years 1990 through 1999?” The teacher puts his air-marker down on the table, lowers his head, and sighs. “Because…” he lifts his head, a single tear rolls down his cheek, “… only 90’s kids remember the 90’s”

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when a girl introduces herself to my boyfriend:

nosyntax:

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I look so small next to the Mountain, got to meet him the other day in work :)

[panics but not in a disco sort of way]

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owlmylove:

therewerestarsintheireyes:

so this housewife decided to rewrite the harry potter series into christian books so that her kids wont be reading about witchcraft and i just cant eveN BREATHE BC THIS IS SO HYSTERICAL

read it here:

Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles

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secretlymartinfreeman:

the most unrealistic thing about high school musical is that they let ryan wear hats in class

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